Fog sits heavy overhead. Like the aftermath of a bushfire, lingering low and dulling the mood.
It’s oppressive, weighing down heavily upon my world, my heart.
The ground’s awash with overnight rain. It has fallen, like the tears that threaten to overflow. They sit, unbidden, just waiting for a kind word, a gentle hand.
The birds perched like sentries, their usual birdsong caught in their throat, a forgotten melody. They watch, they wait.
What, on a sun-drenched day bright and joyous, today dull and melancholy. The river, dark. Like the murky depths of my brain, thoughts saddened with worry, of the unknown, the yet to be, the here and now.
Life is like that. The highest of highs, the lowest of lows and the somewhere in between. A roller coaster or just coasting.
Vines grow, shielding those inside from the heat of a warm day. Today, they hide the outside world, in my mind’s eye I see the glow of overhead lighting, an artificial brightness that tricks the mind and hides the gloom from the unknowing. Those who still see the light in the gloomiest of days. Those that smile, even when their heart is heavy. Those that send heartfelt prayers through the cosmos to unseen loved ones, to the broken and the interned.
My glass half full attitude is almost depleted. I watch as those around me go about their day. I too am going about my day, yet all the while thoughts of a friend linger close at hand. The glass half full kind of companion. The one that lifts you up and encourages you to soar.
Don’t take for granted what has been, it may be snatched away unceremoniously and without care.
Appreciate what you have, what you have had. Remember the memories, cherish them, store them away. They will remain forever, reminders of loving moments, laugh out loud laughter and kindness beyond compare.
Black humour not everyone’s cup of tea, a necessary ingredient for some. It keeps it real. It keeps us connected. It is real. I am connected. Through time, and space and truth. Be true, be real, be honest, be open. Love and allow yourself to be loved.
Be not afraid my friends. Step forward, embrace what is offered, spread your arms wide with thanks and hug those that are dear to you.
There’s an empty desk, now covered with flowers, a reminder of your beauty. There’s a photo too, a cute one but your face came in many guises didn’t it?
Your smile reflected in your daughter’s, a mirror image of your younger self. Your son’s eyes shine with your knowing and your love is felt far and wide.
The world turned dark with sorrow, even the brightness of a sunshine day was dulled like a hazy morning hidden by fog.
Melancholy sits heavy on my heart and yet there you are, inside my head, with your ‘it is what it is’ attitude telling me ‘it is ok’. Boying me to put on my ‘can do’ pants.
As my face turns to the sun I remember your brilliance. Your enthusiastic zest for life. You, the ultimate ‘glass half full’ girl have given so much joy. Have filled the lives of others with happy beans. Have got them moving to the music of life. You danced, they danced. And hey, how you danced, with rhythm and groove, with energetic movement, eyes a sparkle, smile wide.
Strong and gentle all in one. Humour sometimes black, creativity at your essence, more in your big toe than many have in their whole body. An open heart and an open mind. Your bounty shared without hesitation.
A wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend. So much to oh so many. Did you conspire to be such? Me thinks not. For after all at your essence was a humble human, a kind and supportive friend and colleague, a bit of bedazzle that shone bright without any polish.
You are missed. The hole you left is huge. Bigger for those closest for sure. A tender spot forever remaining where you trod. There will be a softening to the edges of these raw feelings. In remembrance we will plant seeds of hope and like the unfolding of petals from the most beautiful of flowers your memory will live on.
Thank you for being my friend.
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