I woke early and decided it was ‘too’ early. A rain-soaked morning greeted me. I could almost see the greenery in my garden doing a happy dance. Jiggling their tushies and wriggling their toes. They’ve been limp and longing to quench their thirst.
So I was on the later bus. The one that leaves in the daylight, not the midst of darkness, so I missed the glow of morning rising above the tree line.
The line for the bus was longer than usual and added to the mix were three young girls with their straight bangs, big bows, short skirts, black socks and white shoes. Overseas students, from Korea I imagine. They look cute but doll-like, I’m not really a fan.
The bus driver was a bit of a speed demon. We were all rockin’ n rolling. Nobody else seemed perturbed, just part of their daily commute. All heads down.
We passed a creek, water still and edged by reeds and weeds. It could be a pretty sight but there laying on its side, right in the middle of the stream I spied an ironing board. I didn’t get a good look, just a flash really but it stood out like the proverbial. The cover, stained and the struts rusted. Why is it there? Some galoot tossed it, when it was no longer needed, in a fit of rage or is it some remnant of a flooding waterway? Either way, it is out of place!
Sometimes I feel out of place. When I was younger, I felt like I was the missing piece of a jigsaw, lost and lingering, waiting to be found. My heart would pound heavily in my chest if I felt out of my depth. I was a fraud and felt sure I’d get found out. Anxiety robbed me of opportunities. Sometimes I masked it well, other times it crept up and overtook my life, leaving me feeling helpless and worried. There were people that had my back, that nurtured me, that watched over me in that sorry state. That coaxed me back to the world and out of the darkness of the black dog.
I am lucky to be a part of my family jigsaw. Each a different shape, size and colour, some muted, some flamboyant, some bohemian, and all a bit weird (in a good way). One of those puzzles that doesn’t have a discernible edge, where each piece is a bit different but fit together in a random mixed-up pattern that is pleasant to the eye and pleasing to the heart.
You know, I wasn’t sure what I would write about today. And here it is. Me, a piece of my life’s puzzle that fits perfectly today, and exactly where I am meant to be.
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